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View Full Version : Date and diarrhea.

Jack Klompus
October 9th, 2006, 03:46 PM
Hey there! Ok... so itīs wednesday and you finally arrange a date with that great girl (guy) youve been dying to go out with. So you set your date to saturday at 8:00 pm. So lets suppose you eat 10 burritos, 5 tacos, 3 slices of pepperoni pizza and chinese food leftovers for dinner on friday . Result? You got the worst diarrhea ever on saturday (the big day, its your date!). Itīs 7:00 pm.
So, what do you do?
tgd_02
October 9th, 2006, 03:48 PM
GRAB A CORK
SHOVE IT UP UR UGLY ASS!
Commando80
October 9th, 2006, 04:17 PM
Im liking tgd's idea. That, or you drink pickle juice and clean out everything within the hour.
Cymru am byth
October 9th, 2006, 05:19 PM
eat a load of bananas to bung me up again :lol:
Big Ozzie
October 9th, 2006, 05:40 PM
'Ello, BABE? We alls gots a problem heah, Sugar!
http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f300/tscampoli/fan_club_prescopy.jpg
Colzi
October 9th, 2006, 05:57 PM
hysterics!
Big Ozzie
October 9th, 2006, 06:10 PM
FIRST, that is why I wear the darkest shorts I can buy-Black, dark Blue, Gray, etc. Dark colors hide the skids, you can turn 'em inside out and wear 'em for a couple more days or a week.
SECOND, if I ever had this problem, I would make sure I ate plenty of Jalapeno Peppers so the neighbors can hear me Howl at the Moon when I evacuate.
AND THIRD, I would make sure my date ate whatever I ate...if she won't, slip some Ex-lax in her drink! Then get down with some GOOD 69 action and GET READY TO DUCK!
tim2x
October 9th, 2006, 06:25 PM
immodium, immodium, immodium.......
Rocker Kid
October 9th, 2006, 06:43 PM
Noooo way. It's not worth it if you have an "accident".

They may not like you for the night if you can't go.

They may not like you for the next who knows if you crap your pants in front of them!!!
Big Ozzie
October 9th, 2006, 06:49 PM
Noooo way. It's not worth it if you have an "accident".

They may not like you for the night if you can't go.

They may not like you for the next who knows if you crap your pants in front of them!!!

That's why you don't wear pants! Then if there is an "accident" you can blame it on someone else ......."It was already there" or "Look what I sat in!" :D
Cymru am byth
October 9th, 2006, 07:07 PM
you could always do what fudge packers do and wack a tampon up there
Rocker Kid
October 9th, 2006, 07:31 PM
NOT WORTH IT

Do you want your future wife/husband to look at you funny or with a certain amount of caution or fear every time you ask to go to the bathroom or reach for the third slice of pizza or burrito?!
Big Ozzie
October 10th, 2006, 02:22 PM
http://www.mypsp.com.au/img/gallery/homeralone427.jpg
BIG OZZIE'c Diarrhea Cure-All!
Colzi
October 10th, 2006, 03:28 PM
Thats grate ozzie!
Big Ozzie
October 10th, 2006, 03:47 PM
Thats grate ozzie!
THANKYOU, Thankyou! :D It will also work for the occasional 'Roid! :shock:
Jack Klompus
October 10th, 2006, 05:36 PM
holly crap! :shock:
Cymru am byth
October 10th, 2006, 06:47 PM
wheres the "ask if she's into scat" option?
Big Ozzie
October 10th, 2006, 07:24 PM
wheres the "ask if she's into scat" option?

He left it at http://www.filecabi.net/video/church-of-fudge.html where they use a Bed Pan for an Offering Plate! :D
Cymru am byth
October 10th, 2006, 07:29 PM
roflmao
Merrillizer
October 10th, 2006, 07:29 PM
No way dood. One time in High School, I had to shit so bad when I was with this girl I was seeing, her sister, and another girl. The girl driving the car got pulled over and got a DWI, so I had to drive the car like 15 miles back to bring the sisters home. On the way I got one of those violent, cramp type fireshits. I felt it come over me like a wave of heat, and I started sweatin', and then I was fuckin hallucinating. It was the worst fucking thing ever. I shoulda stayed home LMFAO. I told the girls I had to PUKE, not shit. I lied and said I felt sick and when I got to their house I was gonna run in and puke. Yeah right, I had to shit so bad my whole body was fatigued from holding it in. On the way there going down the roads, I was secretly plotting a way to pull over, jump out, and run into the woods, shit in peace, then walk home. But I couldnt do it. We FINALLY get to their house, and I run in, fly up the stairs, and when I ripped my pants down, it was like krakatoa erupting. It was like shittin' seawater, or beer. LMFAO
Rocker Kid
October 11th, 2006, 07:51 PM
No way dood. One time in High School, I had to shit so bad when I was with this girl I was seeing, her sister, and another girl. The girl driving the car got pulled over and got a DWI, so I had to drive the car like 15 miles back to bring the sisters home. On the way I got one of those violent, cramp type fireshits. I felt it come over me like a wave of heat, and I started sweatin', and then I was fuckin hallucinating. It was the worst fucking thing ever. I shoulda stayed home LMFAO. I told the girls I had to PUKE, not shit. I lied and said I felt sick and when I got to their house I was gonna run in and puke. Yeah right, I had to shit so bad my whole body was fatigued from holding it in. On the way there going down the roads, I was secretly plotting a way to pull over, jump out, and run into the woods, shit in peace, then walk home. But I couldnt do it. We FINALLY get to their house, and I run in, fly up the stairs, and when I ripped my pants down, it was like krakatoa erupting. It was like shittin' seawater, or beer. LMFAO

What. The. Hell. Did. You. Eat..........
AllisterFiend
October 11th, 2006, 07:59 PM
Di-a-rrhe-a cha cha cha.
Clouds in the Sky
October 11th, 2006, 08:01 PM
I was at this bar once and this guy wouldn't fuck off. Therefore, in all my glory I've proclaimed: "Dude, I'm sooooo sorry but I need to leave...I have explosive diarrhea."

Needless to say, he didn't bother me for the rest of the night.
Jack Klompus
October 11th, 2006, 10:10 PM
No way dood. One time in High School, I had to shit so bad when I was with this girl I was seeing, her sister, and another girl. The girl driving the car got pulled over and got a DWI, so I had to drive the car like 15 miles back to bring the sisters home. On the way I got one of those violent, cramp type fireshits. I felt it come over me like a wave of heat, and I started sweatin', and then I was fuckin hallucinating. It was the worst fucking thing ever. I shoulda stayed home LMFAO. I told the girls I had to PUKE, not shit. I lied and said I felt sick and when I got to their house I was gonna run in and puke. Yeah right, I had to shit so bad my whole body was fatigued from holding it in. On the way there going down the roads, I was secretly plotting a way to pull over, jump out, and run into the woods, shit in peace, then walk home. But I couldnt do it. We FINALLY get to their house, and I run in, fly up the stairs, and when I ripped my pants down, it was like krakatoa erupting. It was like shittin' seawater, or beer. LMFAO

R0fL!!!
Sometimes, when you shit like that... you kinda get lost. Itīs like you get away for a couple of seconds or something. There was this one time I kinda lost part of my consciousness there. It was scary actually.
Big Ozzie
October 12th, 2006, 11:51 AM
http://foutware.ath.cx/public/owned.jpg
Commando80
October 12th, 2006, 05:32 PM
that used to be my backround lol
Colzi
October 12th, 2006, 05:54 PM
that used to be my backround lol

Lol not a very nice upbringing for ya then :roll:
Cloudane
October 13th, 2006, 08:02 PM
Haha. That bog roll looks painful.

Certainly not, I'd probably claim that one of my relatives has gone into hospital or something, and milk the hugs and sympathy when we next meet before telling them that it was nothing serious :D
LTF
November 5th, 2009, 02:24 PM
Back in my youth, we'd go to bars to meet sluts. There were plenty of instances where I'd be talking to a chick, and not really that interested, and I'd interrupt her mid-sentence, and say "Hold that thought, I need to go take a shit." Each time, she'd be gone.

My favorite was once this chick was eye-fucking me for a while from the other side of the bar. I had to go past her to use the restroom. As I was walking past, she turned to me and said "Hello stranger", I casually replied "Hello pretty lady. I'ma take a shit real quick and then I'll come buy you a drink."

She laughed. She became a very convenient fuck buddy for the summer of 2000.

*Edit, it should be noted that in none of these instances did I actually drop a deuce. Dropping a deuce at a bar is disguisting.
Seamus ''SHILLELAGH'' Master.
November 5th, 2009, 02:36 PM
LOL
Outsource Moderator Rajan
November 5th, 2009, 02:49 PM
Diarrhea only make problem for Rajan once courting. Toilet in India not like west made from chair. Toilet only hole in floor and pipe out. So squat for making bowel move.

Problem from diarrhea give Rajan dirty ankle feet and shoe. :omg: Maybe 12 year ago, Rajan later marry Madirakshi and Madirakshi not know of problem on date.

Picture image show typical toilet.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/30725689_cede547bc7.jpg
Seamus ''SHILLELAGH'' Master.
November 5th, 2009, 02:57 PM
Thats a prison toilet. I remember when I was in the cell and needed to take a shit in the morning. No way was I gonna take it in one of those things! I might have done if I knew I could have done it quickly without one of the pigs looking at me, but didn't feel confident that they weren't going to look so I decided better off not and holding it for a while. It was a long time before I took that shit though!
UnregisteredSexOffender
November 5th, 2009, 05:58 PM
immodium, immodium, immodium.......

This guy had the right idea. I've had to do this a few times.
Raidenator
November 5th, 2009, 06:13 PM
Keep this shit in your fucking wallet.

http://img684.imageshack.us/img684/5623/pepto.jpg